February 2011 Diary Entries — Part II
From the black and gold notebook I got for my college psychology class assignment.
Thursday, February 17, 2011 — 1:35a
Well, I didn’t write in here yesterday because I spent my night at the AZX induction dinner (which was awesome) and then writing my english paper (which was not).
But, today I went to the University Writing Center and got help tweaking my paper so now I feel good about putting the final touches on it tomorrow.
I would say I’m looking forward to the weekend, except Reid is going home Friday, so I’m just looking forward to tomorrow night.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011 — 11:41p
Wow. I mean really. I cannot get this journaling thing together. And over the weekend, I think I figured out why.
I tell everyone everything. Not literally, I just mean if something is going wrong, or right, or if I’m feeling upset, frustrated, excited, or if I’ve been thinking a lot about something, then I tell my roommates, or Reid, or Callen, or my family and I talk through everything with them, sometimes multiple times with different people, so by the end of the day, I’m all talked out.
I’m extroverted this way; I love connecting to people through sharing details of my life so I guess I don’t feel the need to write in my diary before going to bed. I want to be a good journal-er because I know I won’t remember every conversation I have with people, but in that moment when the day is coming to a close, I feel like I’ve gotten my feelings out sufficiently and so it is very hard to take the extra time to journal about them in addition to having already talked it out aloud.
I just need to keep in mind that I don’t have to make every journal entry a deep discussion; if I’ve already had a deep discussion that day then just a brief summary of that topic will do. I just need to write SOMETHING each day, because I won’t remember my day-to-day trials and triumphs in a few years.
Thursday, February 24, 2011–11:07p
I spent a lot of time on tumblr today. I just recently changed it into a food diary / exercise log blog, and I joined a challenge started by another girl where you post current pictures of yourself in a bikini and then the first of June you post your “after” pictures. I’m really excited about this.
I am not unhappy with my body, I just know there are definite improvements I can make to feel better about what I eat and my activity level, and I’ve always really liked things to do where you can see a tangible improvement in the end result.
Like I’m really excited about getting into a workout regimen and eating better and drinking more water and then being able to see how my body will have changed for the summer. Also, I feel like this will be good for my self-esteem in general, like I can motivate myself to stick with getting fit and then I will have achieved something to show for it.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011 — 12:22a
Well, I’m still spending a lot of time on tumblr. I feel like that’s another contributing factor to why I don’t journal like I should, because I feel like I’m already documenting my life in a fun way through that. Maybe I can use part of that toward my final project/paper…
Anyway, I didn’t write last night because I was feeling really drained after talking to my friend about her boyfriend and his near-suicidal behavior. I feel really flattered when she’s talking to me and says something about how I give such great advice and how talking to me really helps her.
It’s stuff like that that makes me want to be a counselor, but then I think there are more rules governing how to counsel someone and after my experience with Helpline, I still don’t know. I need to talk to Mom again when I go home this weekend.
Also, another thing I was thinking about was how I’d kind of like to show Reid my notes from my Psyc of Adjustment class and talk with him about the topics, but then I think I don’t want to be that “Psychologist” girlfriend who’s trying to get my partner to over-analyze the relationship with me. I mean I know Reid wouldn’t care, that’s just at the back of my mind.
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